Wildernesses

In bible study, we are learning about the wildernesses that God put people through in the Bible. The trials and hardships they went through, and what came out of them. First off what is a wilderness? Something big or small that you are going through in life whether it be a relationship issue, problems within your family, searching for a job, illness, death. It can be anything. Sometimes we think surely it is Satan putting us through these hard times....but it's not. It is God. But why does He do that to us? To protect us (from something else worse), To test us (to see if we will obey Him), To show us miracles (to reveal Himself) and to show us that we need Him. If we go about life on a level field all the time, how often will we look to Him for comfort or advice? We often look to Him in thanks for the great things and in anguish for the bad or hard things. In our book it says "sometimes God allows hardships to graciously show us we desperately need Him"

For the past eight years, my main wilderness has been my health issues. But I would have never leaned on God so much and grown so close to him had I not gone through all that I have. I have met the most amazing people, had the greatest experiences, all while going through the toughest times. I have relied on God to help me keep a positive attitude and to help me minister to others. It was not always that way. In the beginning, I was angry at God. Why me? Why am I missing out on all of these fun college outings, spring breaks, vacations, to have surgery? Why are my friends all getting jobs and moving to fun places while I am scared to go too far from home because I am so sick. I often did not want to go to church with my family, and I most certainly did not want to open my Bible or spend time with God.  Over time, lots of prayer, and an amazing Bible Study group, I caved. I learned to be still and listen to His word, to sit down and read my Bible, and to really develop a relationship with Him. It is amazing what God can and will do when you let him. He opened my eyes and softened my heart.

I now see every "wilderness" as a gift from God. I can't wait to see the good that will come of it. I know He has a plan, and if we "camp out" long enough through the hard times, we will see it. He wants to reveal himself to us in a way that will change our life forever. And that...He has done for me. I pray that He helps you through whatever wilderness you are going through and that you see His greatness in the end.

A week from today mom and I leave for the Mayo Clinic in MN for surgery #13. They will remove the endometriosis that is growing everywhere and hopefully this will alleviate a lot of the pain and discomfort I have had. Just another part of the journey for me, and I can't wait to see the wonderful things God has in store for me along the way.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" Jeremiah 29:13

A week of ups and downs!

It seems like a week doesn't go by that isn't "uneventful". On Monday night, I had some shrimp fried rice from a restaurant I frequent almost weekly. By midnight, I was violently sick until the next morning. It was a long and miserable night and I was feeling like a small child who just wanted their mommy. On Tuesday, I rested most of the morning until about lunchtime. I pulled it together and went to my store, Two Sisters Embroidery, because there was so much to be done. I am not very good at being sick when there are things to do! By late afternoon I was curled up in the fetal position underneath a table. I was in SO much pain! I called David (wonderful boyfriend) and he drove me to MD360, our emergency clinic. When I got there they said I was too sick and needed to go to the ER. Mom took over and we headed to the hospital. I spent the night there getting lots of IV fluids and pain meds. After a lot of testing and scans, it looks like some bad food poisoning from shrimp which greatly aggravated the endometriosis that is on/around my colon. (hence the pain!) The next few days I was very weak and did not want to eat or do much of anything. The problem was, the grand opening of our new store was on Friday afternoon. I prayed God would help me rally and heal my body. In Jeremiah 31:25 He says "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Indeed he did. By Friday, I was able to help get the store "party-ready" and attend our grand opening. Can you see our excitement in the picture above? We are cutting the ribbon for the Greenville Chamber of Commerce at our new store! We are so proud.
I could not believe the love and support of everyone who came to the party. It was such a success and I give God all of the glory for getting me to where I am today. I never imagined through all of the sickness, I would own my own store. I could not do it without my mom, though. She is there everyday working along side me, and covering things when I am too sick to work. Our staff is incredible and I have met the most amazing people through the shop. To top off the week, the Haskell family got a new puppy on Saturday. Sweet Reese has brought so much joy to the household!

Though the week started off on a bad note, it certainly ended well. "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5:18 My next surgery is scheduled for November 8th at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. They will remove all of the endometriosis and hopefully get me feeling good again!