It has taken me a while to write this. It was too painful to relive... to talk about or to write about. Our sweet foster baby was moved to another home. I have heard from so many people that the reason they could never do foster care is because of the goodbye. So I wanted to tell you my experience with it. This was one of my biggest fears. How do you pour your life into a child, love them like your own, and then tell them goodbye? When “baby” came to us, she was so tiny. Only 7lbs and so new to the world. For almost 5 months we loved this girl like our own child. We watched her do many “firsts”, worked with her daily on developmental milestones, and relished every coo and smile. She was a part of our life. I didn’t see our future without her in it. Of course I knew it was a possibility she would only be with us temporarily, but if you think that way, how can you pour your whole heart into them? The day we got the call until the day she left (48 hours) I was in a downward spiral. I took so many pictures, packed her a bag, and cried more tears than I thought was humanly possible. Then as quickly as she came, she was gone. I shut the nursery door and have barely opened it since. Her clothes are still in her drawers, diapers still on the changing table, and I left a few things unwashed so I could still remember her smell.
Yes, all of that sounds painful and you probably assume I’d never want to experience that again. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. What we were able to give her in those 5 months shaped her in a way that she desperately needed. God loved us SO much that he sacrificed his own child to die for us. If he can do that for us, I know I can show love to these children even if it causes me heartache in the end. Selfishly I wouldn’t want to feel this pain again, but it’s not about me. It’s about the kids. They need someone to show them love even if it’s for a short time. Please pray for “baby”, as we don’t know what her future holds. And pray for Anna Bates as she feels a huge void without her side kick and best buddy. If you have ever thought about fostering, I am happy to talk to you about it. And if you don’t feel like that’s your calling, you can always help a family who does foster. I can’t tell you how amazing our community was when we first brought her home. We had meals brought to us, gift cards sent, and so many times I’d open our front door to a box of diapers and wipes with a sweet note. I even had a friend in Dallas send formula through amazon! It wasn’t just us loving her. It was our family and friends as well. She may never know how loved she was in those 5 months, but we were called to be the hands and feet of God and that’s what we did. What he calls us to do doesn’t always make sense and sometimes it is out of our comfort zone. And sometimes.... it doesn’t turn out like we had planned. But I have to trust that His plan is bigger than mine.
Love y’all ❤️
