Patience and Perseverance

The last two weeks have been ROUGH! I was discharged from the hospital late last Monday night, but still had a fever and elevated white blood cell count. I then spent everyday of last week in my doctor's office taking more blood and running more tests. I was lethargic, exhausted, and just done with all of this mess. I continued to have a low grade fever and my white blood cell count would be up one day, down the next, and up again the day after that. The white blood cells indicate a bacterial infection, but the source is still unknown. Today, I started to feel a little better and even went to get a haircut. I went to lunch for my grandmother's birthday and felt like I was on a roll. That was two activities, when the most I've done the past two weeks is lay in bed or get up to do small tasks. I even stayed home all weekend sleeping while David went to the lake with his family for his grandmother and dad's birthdays. I hated to miss it, but my body was telling me no. After lunch today, my stomach started to get distended. I have still been having sharp lower abdominal pain that comes and goes. When it comes its a doubled over, can't stand up type of pain. I tried to take it easy the rest of the afternoon, but my stomach kept getting bigger and bigger. By dinnertime I couldn't button my pants and my skin was so tight it hurt. I finally gave in and went to MD360, our urgent care facility. They started an IV and assessed my pain, the distention, and the fact that I came in with a fever. The doctor's initial thought was appendicitis. She called the ER and explained my symptoms and they wanted me to come straight there...by ambulance. Ugh. That was no fun at all. When I got to the hospital they did a surgical consult and ordered a CT. They also thought it was appendicitis. Well, unfortunately, that would be WAY too easy to diagnose and to treat for my body. The CT scan showed no sign of appendicitis or anything abnormal. So I once again was left with a fever and white blood cells in my urine (but not a urinary tract infection either)

In a nut shell, I have been in a good bit of pain and discomfort, I've had low grade fevers, 5 confirmed infections one after another, and a mysterious bacterial infection that they cannot locate. The unknown is literally one of the worst feelings. Where is the infection? Is it going to go away on its own? Why in the world can they not find it? I really had my hopes up last night that this was it. The grand finale and the answer to all of the questions. But I was yet again, disappointed and frustrated. I hit my breaking point and broke down in tears after I left the hospital.

On Friday, I have an appointment with endocrinology and cardiology to see if they can possibly pinpoint the infection. We do know that my cortisol levels are very low (endocrine) and my heart rate is extremely high (cardiology). These are small clues that may lead us in the right direction, so I am that seeing those specialists will give some insight into the situation. God is sure testing my patience and my perseverance. My prayer is that they will find the source of the infection SOON. I am ready to tackle this and move on. They have tried several antibiotics (oral, shots, and IV) and none have worked to break the cycle of fevers and high white blood cell counts.

I will update you after my appointments Friday! Please pray for patience. It is so hard to wait and wait and wait when my body feels so out of whack. I know that this, yes even this, is part of God's plans for me. One day I will look back and see where it fit into His wonderful plan and how He used it to glorify His name.

XOXO

Riley

Infections Galore!

Remember when I went to the beach the last week of July? I had a really swollen lymph node in my neck and went to urgent care. They treated me for an ear and sinus infection with antibiotics and steroids. So grateful to them, because we later found out it was also "mono". I am always tired , but the fatigue I have been feeling lately is something crazy! It was good to find an answer. Then once the staph popped up on a blood culture I started antibiotics again. I'm thinking.... "I dare you infections to get in this body now! I am armed with a ridiculous amount of antibiotics and steroids. And then came this past Friday. My bladder and left kidney were really hurting and I got up to go to the bathroom way too many times. I thought I would ride it out through the weekend and if it was still bad, go back to the doctor on Monday. Saturday morning came bright and early with David donning his game day Clemson attire from head to toe to coolers! I had already backed out and told him to take a friend. I knew with all that I've been sick, a game with thousands of people in the heat of the summer wouldn't be a good idea. Once he had left I drove myself to urgent care. I wanted him to have fun so I didn't tell him until later. Urgent care said there were white and red blood cells in urine which meant an infection somewhere. He put me on Bactrim and I was on my way. I ran to McAlisters to get a spud (love this when I feel blah!) and filled up so I could take the antibiotics. David came home early from the game to me sitting up in bed struggling to breathe. "I think I'm having an allergic reaction to the medicine!" I called urgent care with the symptoms of my throat closing up, trying to breathe, and a racing heart rate. She gave me two options: she would send for an ambulance or David takes me immediately to the ER. So there we went. I got to St Francis Eastside ER closest to my house and was immediately whisked away by a team of 6 doctors, PAs, and nurses. Within seconds, I was given an epi shot, started an IV, and three different meds put in my IV. Honestly, one of the scariest things ever for me! I was terrified and crying because I couldn't breathe! After a few minutes my throat swelling started to lessen but my heart rate didn't. After hours of observation, I spiked a fever and heart rate still was super high. This gave me a straight admission ticket to the dreaded upstairs. I am now an impatient being monitored. I'm hoping to break out of here later today. Good news is, there's a nice tv and the room is really big. (Not that I can wander around with this IV pole in tow!) however, the pull out bed doesn't exactly fit a man. Poor David is hanging off the end! He's amazing! 

Waking up Friday and feeling that small ting of discomfort in my bladder, I prayed it would go away quickly and quietly. I have had enough infections this month to last me quite a while. Right, God? Then I remember this verse: 

"Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5 

There is a reason God wants me to be chronically ill with lots of hospital visits. Sometimes, I do see little winks from God that I was in a place for a reason. I always find myself ministering to a doctor or nurse taking care of me. Not in a pushy way at all, just praying in front of them and assuring them I know I'm going to be ok with God on my side. Even when I pick up my many meds from Walgreens weekly (they know me by name) one will always say I hope this works or I hope you feel better. And I reply, "I'm praying it will!" Just little nudges to those who may need it. 

When I knew...

Football season is HERE! And it got me thinking of "when I knew". When I knew I was sick...

My freshman year in college is when I knew. I had two awesome roommates from Maryland that I didn't know prior to moving in and we clicked instantly. We did a lot together and I also had a lot of friends from home at USC too. I was always complaining about walking to classes across campus, and I would leave super early sometimes just so I could drive and park nearby. All of my friends walked and never thought anything of it. That's just what everyone did. That distance hurt my legs SO much and I thought surely it was the same for others. One day I was walking to class with my roommate Caitlin and I just collapsed on the side walk. I couldn't feel my legs and couldn't stand back up. EMS was called and they did a full neurological work up and nothing showed up. They thought maybe it was the beginning of MS. I prayed it wasn't.

During football season, I REALLY knew I was different. I couldn't handle day games because of the heat. My body temperature didn't regulate like anyone else's. But looking around and seeing other people sweating I thought everyone else feels this way right? No. No one else was suffocating from the heat with their blood pressure raising and dropping. If the group of girls I was with wanted to go to another tailgate way across the stadium from where we were, it was no big deal. But to me it meant aching legs, swollen feet, sore muscles, and clicking joints. No one else seemed to have to "think ahead" about little tasks like walking a distance, or being in the heat, or going up the stairs at the stadium. Thats when I knew. That is also when I decided not to drink at games. Or at least not much. It was the only thing I had control over. I had no idea if my legs would lose feeling and I would collapse, but I sure knew I wouldn't pass out from being drunk. I became the DD and enjoyed as much of the games as I could. I definitely didn't have the college experience like I envisioned, but God had a different plan for me. On the days when I was stuck in my dorm or apartment looking out the window at the loud, drunk, game day fans, I thought...WHY? Why are you doing this to me? And I always went back to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." I didn't know what His plans were and what my future would be, but I am married to an amazing man, have the best family in the world, and a great group of girl friends. Looking back, it doesn't matter how many home games I went to, or how long I stayed. Im pretty sure no one even remembers haha. What matters is I made the best of the situation and even graduated on time with honors. "On time" was a big deal because I had SIX surgeries in the 4 years of college and still managed to get all of my work done in time. Even if I was going to classes with crutches! I made great friends that I will always keep in touch with, and I still had fun!

When you are in a tough place in your life and you think "why me?" Always know that God has a great plan for you. It may take a while to see it, but you will. :)

My labor day weekend was good. I was able to do some things at the lake, but not as much as I wanted. I was really really tired and there were a lot of stairs. The walk from the dock to the house was super steep, so after one time, I wasn't able to go back down to the dock/lake. But I am still able to have some fun!
This week: I have appointments with Rheumatology, Cardiology, and my Internist. Hoping to come up with a good plan to keep me as well as possible! Will keep you posted.

(Before the UGA Clemson game tonight) David isn't smiling that big anymore! Go Dawgs! Love you Dave :)